I have been married now for 39 years this past August, 2017. For all its intent and purposes, I believe life has been good to me.
In marriage, I have equally been lucky, especially when one understands that we married after knowing each other for only three weeks. But that is another story. Maybe someday I will write about that.
I suggest if I may that often in marriage I think we tend to just let it take its course and we become comfortable in it. In the beginning, we work at the relationship and explore each other’s wants and needs. Then when it seems that every day is the same or similar to the day before we stop working at it and set the controls on autopilot. Children come along, work changes, they grow up and life moves on.
What we fail to realize, is that LIFE itself is ever changing. We ourselves are changed and most of the time in imperceptible ways daily as a result of our daily experiences and encounters.
If we do not pay attention to our married life and those daily changes, that relationship too can get away from us. Changes occur on the conscious and unconscious level all of the time.
Perhaps that is what happened when out of the blue after many years we hear of our friends getting divorced or separated.
Not that I am contemplating any such action but today only reflecting on life itself, and because of a recent event which this write up is really about. I am getting to my point, trust me.
Last weekend my wife and I went to the cottage just to get away, just the two of us. To set the story up it is important to note that for the first time in my working career I lost virtually my whole summer at home. For us northerners the summer really consists of June, July and August. Those months are our warm and sunny ones. In my case this year, I left home at the end of June and did not return till September first. Understand that I have always worked away on a rotational basis. Of course, we maintained contact through emails and Facebook messenger, but it is not the same as being there. But it is immensely better than thirty years ago, which thankfully we survived without the internet, and cell phones.
Anyway, to get back to my original point of discussion. We went to the cottage and yes as you might suspect, if you know anything about us we found projects which needed doing. It’s NEVER just about putting your feet up and cuddle up on the couch listening to the rain storm going by, knowing that you are comfortable and warm inside.
This time it was to change out the cottage entry door. It had needed changing there is no question. I set to that task and Mary set herself to wash and clean up linen and cupboards and likely a myriad of other things that I failed to notice. Yep you know the scene mom and dad things.
Then it happened………
The door installation was completed. On the couch lay a mound of bed linen which remained to be folded. As one would expect, Mary asked if I could give her a hand to fold them.
I grabbed one end of the fitted sheets, which by the way I have always found difficult to fold neatly. As she held one end of the sheets and I the other she began to tug and fold again. ……
By the second or third one, as she snapped tugged the sheets, they flew out of my grip. Like a stunned bunny I chased and re-grabbed the end of the sheet, only to have it once again fly out of my grip on the next subsequent snap tug from Mary. I really don’t know where my mind was because dam did I not lose my grip a second and third time. Mary started to laugh chuckle about my absentmindedness, and uncoordinated efforts. There it was…….that melodious sound I had not heard in so long…… I think I regressed twenty years in just a few seconds I think I even joined in the mirth. I am not sure because all I could think and remember was that joy,……that moment of pure happiness, ….. that thought of ….. “I just don’t care about anything else” …. maybe from both of us, I am not sure. Life seemed to stop for me, for as long as that laughter remained in my ears.
Alas several more sheets found their way between my hands and her jobs got completed along with the rest of the weekend clean up.
We packed up and loaded up the car as we had to return home, of course as mom and dad job remained to be done there as well.
Perhaps THAT is what we forget to do in our relationships….. laugh….. laugh at situations, laugh at life,….. laugh at ourselves…..
Life is not about looking for a true friend,….it’s about being one……….(by unknown)
Life is a game,……true love a trophy ……. (by unknown).
Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment……. (Buddha)
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