These days, I think one would be hard pressed not to see some advert, or popup windows whenever surfing the net, with hype against bullying. I believe it’s been around for as long as human kind has learned to communicate. It is fueled by many factors, jealousy, greed, hate, and many other human emotions. No I am not a shrink or any other professional trying to define it. I am just an average Joe, just like you.
The world can be a cruel place to live in, particularly if you let it. It can also be a place of great joy and wonder IF you choose to see it. It will always show you what you are looking for.
If you listen to self-help material, be it video, audio, or books, and they will ALL tell you that the universe will give to you what you truly seek. The point is that our brains are geared to focus on what we think about. It’s the sub-conscious that drives our thoughts NOT the conscious as you may have thought. I know that is hard to believe but it is a fact. I think the following words from Mahatma Gandhi give some reflection to this……it is what is deep inside of you, not the surface that truly influences your behavior…
“Your beliefs becomes your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions
Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your values
Your values become your DESTINY”
So how does this affect bullying? I suppose it does not change it but I suggest that it might alter your perception of it.
Bullying will not go away no matter how much we wish it would. It IS a part of human make up. Yes it would be nice if we all lived in a utopic world where everybody gets along and there were no wars or discord. Or would it? How can you tell when something is bad? It is only by comparison to good that one can evaluate degrees of “good” or “bad”.
Like it or not human kind advances through adversity not conformity and bullying is an adversity.
The key is WHAT you do with adversity that matters. I would wager that ALL of us have at one point in our life been subjected TO or DOLED OUT some degree of bullying, …. Come on be honest….. We may not be proud of it, but none of us are free of uttering some unkind word or subjecting someone to some degree of intimidation.
In my day many parent would suggest to you, to provide your antagonist with a swift right cross and be done with it….that was then, things were different.
As I watch my grand-daughter grow I know that sooner or later the question will come up, but not until she interacts more with her peers…yes school age….the day will come when I hear……”grand-pa….I have this girls or boy at school that ….”. What will I say? What will I do? I cannot say at this time, what my actions will be when the time comes. Certainly it will depend greatly on my frame of mind at the time, and the degree of injustice. Of course one always hopes to dispense the Wisdom of Solomon, but after all I am human and subject to all its failing as well as its splendors.
So in short bullying only matters in how we handle it. In today’s litigious society the social media provides a factor that was NOT present in my day…. Today we do not have to contend as in my day of “he said” … “she said”. It is right there displayed in all of its ugliness in print or photographic evidence. However equally important and more than ever we, individually need to not behave in a manner which can feed our enemies eye and ears. Our electronic footprint is extremely huge, larger than most realize until it’s too late. (Name) tagged on Facebook, twitter…etc.
None of us will eliminate bullying, and we all have to deal with it at some time. How we deal with it may make us great or lowly….
In 2007, Chris went so far as to tell host James Lipton of Bravo’s Inside the Actors Studio that bullying was “the defining moment of my life … it made me who I am”. He even thanked the pack of boys who regularly “kicked my a–, spit in my face, and kicked me down the stairs,” because the experiences not only helped him to think quick on his feet, but also fueled his drive to succeed.
“ I was bullied quit a lot in my Peking Opera School. I allowed myself to be bullied because I was scared and didn’t know how to defend myself. I was bullied until I prevented a new student from being bullied. By standing up for him I learned to stand up for myself.”
Michael J. Fox…..
“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
The web is full of support against bullying and yet people are devastated and choose poorly, even in some cases, to end their life because of it. In closing bullying will not go away no matter how hard we wish it. Let’s teach our kids how to deal with it and litigation is not the answer. Teach our kids early how to defuse it, or provide them with enough LOVE and Support so that they can see it as just an exposure to insensitivity and a phase that all of us are exposed to, in varying degree. We must continue to walk through it. Let’s provide them the path to keep walking, and not to stop and dwell on the hurt that can be imposed by the action of the truly ignorant…..
The place where you made your stand never mattered. Only that you were there… and still on your feet.